here I am wondering off from work to blog.

This entire week, I am just so busy with school work that there is barely time for anything else. I am so glad I went for the class chalet yesterday, tiring but it was fun. At least I could get my mind off work for one night. Thursday during PCCG period, Ms Lai delivered a speech that totally freaked me out. i must say that she is an amazingly convincing speaker. Here are some thnigs she said, "your life will be set back 10 years". She was refering to some lady who applied to be a teacher in Meridian. And Ms Lai cited her example by saying that she took her a levels in 1980s but after wondering off for many years, she finally gotten her degree in her late 30s. And this is verys ad because it makes you wonder what happened to her during the time she disappeared and stop schooling.

Ms Lai also said that the consequence of the mistake is too much for us to bare and adviced us not to fool around with our lives. She said, at 2.30pm next year march, we will be sitting there in the hall and 2 years of our life will be reflected on the piece of cert whether good or bad, the cert belongs to you and only you. There is no way that your name can be erased from it and it is going to haunt you for the rest of your life. It suddenly dawned on me how dire the consequences were should I do badly for a levels. Why must it be this way? I am scared. I am lost. Sigh. it is always very hard to express it in words and I think I need to do something quick about this entire thing before it is too late. I am improving but it is not enough, I need to improve faster, to a greater extent. Oh god.. Help me..


Been feeling quite weird these days. Hmm, i wonder what is wrong with me? it seems as though I am sitting on this emotional rollercoaster. going up and down till i start to wonder what I am feeling now. On the way home today, I talked to Khairah. She is one of my classmates whom I can really joke around and talk about serious stuff with. It is always fun to talk to her. I think she feels very very sad today because she lost her mp3 player but she is trying to put on a strong front. It suddenly dawned on me how vulnerable we are. We can be killed any moment now, our things can be stolen any minute. we can also be robbed and killed while resisting the roober. who knows. I have no idea why her mp3 player has such a huge impact on but i felt very pessimistic and fearful. I don't know. it's hard to put it into words.. I'm confused..


I am so sick of school. It is a disgusting place to be in. I wish I can go home right now but I can't because I have to stay for another 2 million more tutorials and lectures. Darn. I just managed to finish my history tutorial which i will be presenting later. I think it is shit. And I am so screwed. I hate myself for being so stupid. I think I am probably going to get DOO or EOO for Mid-years. better than last time? maybe. I think the whole world must be laughing at me now. so much for studying very hard over the holidays. yet in the end what did you get? haha.. stupid. I think I am stupid. There is so much I cannot express in words. SO many things, so many emotions, so many tutorials to complete. everything is many except time. And here I am in the library wasting my time, listening to my zen micro. I ought to die..


Nothing much to blog about.. Just that I've finally watched War Of The Worlds. That movie is awesome. worth catching. Personally I didn't find the ending lame or "wtf". I thought it put a simple and logical conclusion to the movie. How else could the movie have ended?? It was quite anti-climax but it was smart that Steven Spielberg put an end to the movie before it dragged on and become a Tom-Cruise-becomes-the-hero movie. And I must really recommend that movie to everyone. Firstly, it really puts you at the edge of your seat and even after the movie, it traumatises you. Secondly, the acting is great, Tom Cruise and the little girl, Dakota Fanning. I just realise she was the girl who acted in Hide And Seek which was an equally nice show.

The way the movie is filmed is very unique in the sense that it puts you in the perspective of the protagonist, Tom Cruise. Movies these days are getting more and more creative and tries to tug at the curiosity of audience. Sadly, the movie tickets are priced so high that one movie sessions burns a big hole in my pocket and I feel like such a spendthrift after every movie session. Let me tell you, it is all economics at work. These blood-thirsty movie makers try to exploit consumers like us whose demand for movies are inelastic. Sigh. blah blah. Hmm, we should all boycout movies and force them to lower prices. easier said than done. whatever.. I need to go and prepare for the season finale of Desperate Housewives. It is making me go crazy. Can't wait for the ending. Ah.. so excited.

7 weeks to prelims. tight schedule. exhausted body. my skin is killing me again. bloody NS check up on wednesday. Someone help me!!!


oh my god.. Fuck man.. damn it,.. I almost finished my blog entry and the computer restarted by itself. I am so pissed now... argh.. darn.

As i was saying. I think I am losing my determination to carry on blogging. First, there seems to be no one reading this blog. Second, I am so sick of the things I say, studies. third, I am lazy. Now I have a new reason. That my fucking computer restarts itself without warning.

So I shall try to blog something now. Yesterday I went for a swim and saw Denise, Lyanna and Hana. I joined them because I was "pang-seh" by that asshole Khong Chin.

After the swim, I had to prepare to go for Orchid Park Wind Orchestra Concert. I tried to leave my house 15 mins earlier but the freaking bus took 15mins to come. And by the time I reached I met Eugene, I was late, again. I think he is pissed with me. Gosh. I have to leave 1 hour earlier next time maybe. I am so mad that I have to retype all these. Bloody hellllll.........

So talking about the concert, I thought it was a rather enjoyable concert minus the crowd. To me, it was a case of "neighbourhood school band makes it big", just like American Idol Carrie Underwood, if you know what I mean. Anyway, talking about the crowd. It consists of two distinct group, the good and the bad. The good are people who are musically incline and aware of the proper concert etiquette while the bad, consisting is irritating secondary school act-like-very-musical students, annoying kids, family which brought their Ah-Gongs and Mas and maid along, aunties who think it is one of their community-centre gathering where they talk about their cooking and husbands and what not. Nuisances. Argh. The oncert would have been so much better without these people. This is a warning to secondary sch bands holding concert. Never ask your students to sell one ticket each to their family members because I'm sure band concerts do not make a good venue for family outing or gathering. reminds me the Montfiesta 7 fiasco. Sigh.. my first emcee ecperience, ruined like that.

I quite enjoy the band repertoire because it consist of very interesting mix of genres. But the second part of the band repertoire was much much better. There were many "don'ts" that the band had committed and it should serve as a warning. One, never include a Silver standard choir into the concert, because they are just leeching on the band's reputation and subsequently damaging the likeability of the concert. Although the crowd seems to prefer the choir better as they sang songs that they were familiar with. Sigh. Sad. Second, never tune in between pieces, very unprofessional. Third, have better logistics and better dressed lisgistic committee. You don't want to see school boys in shorts that seem too tight, with bulges and curves here and there - very unsightly. But I guess it was their first sell-out concert and they were quite unfamiliar with the procedures. I must compliment them for that interpretation fo "Merry Widow". It showed a very wide array of dynamic expressions and some essense of the music. It may not be what the composer intended but I felt the mood of the music. It was good.

Alright I better publish before it goes off again. And I need to go out for a movie. The only day I am free to go out.


This entire week is the post-mortem for mid years. So far I have gotten some papers back. just here and there. Not all papers are returned in full set. Anyway I am not looking forward to getting any papers anymore. It seems like all the work over the holidays has not deem any recognition nor is it reflective in the marks.

I am beginning to wonder again. I don't know how long I can hold on further. my efforts are futile. I'm totally screwed. Prelims is in the next 7 week, and A level will follow after that. With the kind of grades I am getting now, I can only dream of getting into the university.

Sigh. why is it that others can easily pass the paper just writing something while I fill the entire page with all my brain cells and the marks I get are so pathetic. Maybe my brain cells are not worth as much as others. Or just pure stupidity.

I am not sad over my results, perhaps just a little disappointed. Many people tell me," aiya, its only mid years. don't worry so much. you still have the prelims and A levels to look forward to". Well, true. But who guarantees that the same situation would not happen again? Will I get a satisfying results if I start studynig now?? I hope so, and this time it is real, productive and smart studying. Guess I will have to forsake many many things meanwhile. Friends, movies, outings etc. well, no choice on that.

"Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it depends on what you put into it." ~ Tom Lehrer

alright, I've gotta go catch LOST. It is a must watch. pardon me..


Sometimes it is not the number of people you hang out with but who you actually hang out with that matters most. And it is not up to us to judge a person's character based on what our instincts and experiences are when we are with them. Because it is unfair to them if we do not tell them about it and expect them to understand how we feel about them. I guess you've gotta learn to work and live with the fact that everyone is different in their own ways. Otherwise, the world would be a dull and boring place to be in. It is such variations that help to spice up our lives. That was what I felt about today's outing with a few of the band people and my classmates whom I am quite close to. I must be so lucky to be out with two groups of awesome people within a day.

First, the whoever-from-band-is-free outing was incredibly enjoyable. We just had fun and more fun. We played pool, bowling, watched movie and joke around. Bowling was fun with Benny and Juling especially when Benny is around, he is so funny. He kept complaining how pro Juling and I were because we beat him by a few marks. Yeah. I guess I enjoy bowling more than pool because every game of pool marks the deterioration of my pool skills. I started out playing pool quite well, in fact very well i would say. Maybe it is just beginner's luck. But as we played more and more of it, I began to lose my ability to play pool. I think it is because partly my interest in it is gone, and also I am always very distracted while playing pool. But nevertheless, it was fun playing pool with Justin and Bao Lun. Bao Lun was slow and clumsy as it was her first few times, whereas Justin is the pro who clears the table.

We wanted to catch War of the Worlds but a pity Justin watched it already and we had to compromise and watch Batman Begins instead. I was quite cynical before watching the show as I felt we could have utilise our money better by catching WOTW. But guess what, I was wrong, Batman was cool and interesting. I never knew Batman had such a tragic beginning. At least I felt that Batman was a more real character than any other superheros. He is a normal being driven to desperation by circumstances and decides to uphold justice. But in the process, he does not use magical powers or weapons like that of spider man or the fantastic 4. His tools are very primitive and less fanciful. Anyway the movie could have capitalise on the fact that he is BATMAN and probably make him more prominent. I was quite puzzled by various characters and how alike they all look. But still the movie was a good catch. During the movie, Justin asked me a very funny question, "why isn't Rickson and Bao Lun holding hands or hugging?" I was kinda taken aback by the sudden question because it seems rather weird to be asking about other couples right? But anyway I just told him I don't know. I guess they don't do it publicly. Hey, no offence here alright?

And so after the movie we dashed to the toilet for whatever purpose and we took some photos with Benny's camera to remember the outing. We decided to go our own way as everyone of them had someone to meet. And poor me I was left clueless where to go and how dinner was to be settled. But thank god Ming Yan and gang appeared. So I tagged along. They also finished their movie and are going to Crystal Jade for dinner. Hooray, as least I have company.

After dinner, we went to take a walk in Suntec before proceeding to the arcade. AT the arcade, we played a couple of games which was quite interesting. Especially the big drum game. Haha. Sarah and Ming looked so funny trying to follow the rhythm. I am so fond of my classmates because they are just so funny that you've gotta hang out with them. We talked about all sorts of nonsense and crap but we never get tired of it. well, we are all out to have fun afterall.

Luckily I was able to reach home on time to catch the penultimate episode of Desperate Housevives. You have to love that show, it is just to exciting and full of twists and turns and it makes you want to catch it. And I am so frustrated that I have to wait another week for the season finale. Argh. But I know it is going to be the climax of the entire season. Save the best for the last. Tomorrow is D-Day and I have no idea how I am going to show finish my history tutorial by tonight. Heck. We'll see tmr. Anyway I am going to school at only 9am. Yay. Good in that sense. But from what I gathered from Ming, our new timetable sucks. It has been extended and the earliest is like at 2 plus. Shucks. Damn. I am still in my holiday mood when the Prelims is in another 2 months time. Ought to start studying.. NOW. IMMEDIATELY. just saying this to remind myself. hmm..


I went to cycle with Justin today, we cycled from hougang stadium to punggol end. I had to lead the way because i knew where we were going and by the time we really reached the end. Justin was half dead already and he had blue black on his leg as he bumped over something. Haha

There were many families at the beach all enjoying their family day, i guess. And so we rest for a while before Justin had to rush home for dinner. The journey back was even more tough as the slopes were more steep when going up. But still we managed to get back.

When I got home I turned on the TV and saw Atificial Intelligence showing. Immediately i dropped everything was remained glued to the TV till the movie ended. I found the show very captivating and it really fascinated me. It reminded me of Blade Runner, Brazil and my lit text DADOES. The entire set of the movie was simply mind-boggling, very high-tech, futuristic environment. The young star, Haley Joel Osment was great. He was cast as David and I think this role absolutely suits him. Knowing that he is a robot, he desperately tries to find the mythical Blue Fairy to turn him into a real boy so his mother would love him. In the process, we realise that even a robot like David has understood and possess the emotions of human beings. The desire for something through wishes and goals and to be capable of emotions. Wow, I am so in love with the show. The plot is very touching and intellectually stimulating. I guess more for me since I am doing a text on such content. This is also the first time I see Jude Law acting and I am very fascinated by his ability to act in such a "robotic" manner. I was thinking about the show even after it ended, it simply wouldn't go off my mind. Oh gosh, I've gotta watch it again.

Then my parents came back and I asked my Mum whether she wanted to go to NTUC to buy some groceries and stuff since we have this $10 voucher thingy. I could get a chance to buy some things I wanted. On the way to NTUC, i think i was affected by the movie, possessed perhaps, I was clinging to my mother's arm for the entire journey. By the way, for those who don't know, I've always been very close to my Mum and I still behave like a kid around her. Heh. Anyway the movie ended off with a very heart-warming sight of David and his mother together so I guess I was influenced by that scene. Hmm. So touching. Love the movie.

After we bought our groceries, we came home and watched the NKF cancer charity show. It was another heart-warming sight. What is with Mediacorp today, trying to push our emotions to the limit? Anyway I was very very impressed by Zoe Tay's performance - the dies shaking trick or something. I remember I used to do that when I was young and I always thought stacking the dies up was just camera trick but it was real. Zoe Tay did it. I think it has something to do with the force used and stuff. But I was very engrossed in her performance.

Its 11 plus now and I have nothing to do except listen to my music, which I always do. Tomorrow is an exciting day, I am going out to have fun. And I think it is going to be awesome. Looking forward to tomorrow.


Some Food for Thought for me to share..

By Henry Neils
So how do you know if you, a loved one, or someone who reports to you is suffering from burnout? Here are the early warning signs.

-Chronic fatigue - exhaustion, tiredness, a sense of being physically run down
-Anger at those making demands
-Self-criticism for putting up with the demands
-Cynicism, negativity, and irritability
-A sense of being besieged
-Exploding easily at seemingly inconsequential things
-Frequent headaches and gastrointestinal disturbances
-Weight loss or gain
-Sleeplessness and depression
-Shortness of breath
-Suspiciousness
-Feelings of helplessness
-Increased degree of risk taking

Henry Neils said "I picked up a fork and explained that as long as I used it for eating, the fork would last indefinitely. However, if I began to use it to drive nails or dig trenches, it would soon break. The key was to use it for what it was designed to do. Similarly, people are like the fork. When they do what they are not designed to do, they eventually break."


boy am I glad the exams are over.. It is such a relief and I have never been as relaxed as this since after the block tests. It is always after the exams that you can release your pent up energy and let yourself take a break, hopefully with a nice and warm dip in the pool. with nice weather and nice scenario and a cup of fruit punch. I guess after all JC students are humans and need to rest before they pick up from where they left off (oh the horror).

A quick recap at all the papers I have attempted to do well at this time.

History, not really confident about doing well, but enough to pass, i think although i totally screwed up one question which I didn't study for. Hopefully the other three can make up for the loss in one of the essay. Source base was straight forward, just regurgitating from tutorials. pretty simple. SEA decolonisation and 1848 revolution were the things i studied in detail and they came out. phew. I think I can pass for those two essays. But then again, the other time when I said i would pass for block test, i failed. So, hmm, a little worried this time.

Econs, surprisingly straight-forward. I thought the teachers were going to grill all of us by giving all of us questions of sky-high difficulty. But fortunately, the questions were pretty standard. From TYS those kind. I managed to spot a few do-able questions and so i did them. Hopefully I can squeeze some marks out of those skimpy answers i wrote. MCQ was as usual. nothing to say about it. overall, I think I can at least get an O for econs, although I am really hoping to score better as you would know that I spent 2/3 of the holidays on econs.

Literature. Paper 8 taken before the holidays was just like that. nothing special. Just that i think by the end of the paper, I was so tired and so cold that I was just bull-shitting. Lit Paper 4 was a little challenging, but still answerable after you untangle the knots. I developed this sudden liking for utopian writings after the consultation with Mr Wee, I guess he enlightened me on what utopian writing is really about. Although this might not reflect in the results this time because i only had consultation with him the day before the paper, but I know this will help me in answering "utopian" questions next time. Lit paper 1, don't even talk about it. Totally screwed. the paper was a ball-buster. It totally killed a lot of us i think, driving us to do the text-base questions. even so, it didn't spare us. Guess Ms K is going to be so upset that many of us have let her down.

That's it.. hmm.. I am not looking forward to getting my results cause I know the "bad" will be more than the "good". Sigh. i ought to be going out to have fun. Hmm.


guess what even before our papers are officially over, I went out with my classmates shopping yesterday. Kind of inappropriate but who cares. So there was only Joel and I and a bunch of girls. So it was more like half the time they were off to Mango or some shop looking at girly girly stuff while Joel and I walked around like two idiots. Anyway Joel and I went to a couple of shops and found some pretty trendy clothes. But as we pass by more shops, Joel just kept complaining about how unfair it is that these shops only cater to slim people, "LIKE YOU!"First of all, I am of average built and happen to be able to fit into everything. But then again maybe everyone who can fit into the average measurement are slim, at least to Joel. Interesting. He also made this interesting comment when we were at TopShop -TopMan. He said the only "X" he could find was "XS" and he went on to ask which guy wears freaking "XS". And it just sounded so funny because he said maybe this TopMan shop caters to girls who like to cross-dress instead. He also said something about in Spain the government makes it compulsory that all shops make clothes up to maximum measurement.

Thank god we didn't stay at TopShop for long otherwise he would have died. I wish it had been a better experience for Joel because on my way back home, I was recalling today's shopping trip and I felt quite bad about it, for making him feel so uncomfortable and all the crap. It is always his weight that makes him very self-conscious. I guess most horizontally challenged people are very self-conscious. But honestly, all they gotta do is to start finding shops that sell clothes that cater to their needs and the next step would be try. If you don't try you will never know what the ending result will be. But of course, holding all else constant, you must have some cash to buy those clothes and I am sure there are, in fact many places that sell cheap and nice clothes.

I saw a few pretty interesting clothes and went to try them and they didn't look too bad on me. But price wise, it was a little high for me. There was this shirt that I liked but it was just a filmsy piece of cloth and according to the owner, who was so irritating most of the time as he kept following us around his shop as if we were going to steal anything, cost $32 and it comes from Korea. So I just gave him the "serious? " face and I was thinking to myself, oh please, this thing for $32, I could easily have gotten something much nicer and cheaper from TopShop. So I didn't buy it in the end. Also there was a pair of jeans that really caught my attention at TopShop. I was eyeing it since the last time I went to orchard with Andy. But the other time it cost freaking $109 bucks. and this time it was only $69. Hmm, why didn't I buy? not sure too. maybe because it was still a little steep. But honestly I am regretting it now. Think I shall go back one day and get it.

Alright, I've got a paper later.. Gotta go and start preparing for it now. Wish me luck =)

Christopher Low Jun Yang

ORD lor! Lookin for Job!!

Soon-to-be SMU Undergraduate

SONY Ericsson W960i

Joel
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Denise
KhongChin
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MrWee

Happy Birthday to...

08 Jan '2008 (Jun Yang)

Dates to remember...

Nil

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You have my thanks.

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